twiistz: i met a girl with 12 nipples sounds funny dozen tit
thefandommenace: I just want a fruit salad that isn’t 98% of these fucking things
renkos: sir will you please stop doing the worm your wife is in labor
christoph-waltzed: I remember in year 2 there was a girl who had literally never had a haircut so her hair was ridiculously long [imagine Rapunzel basically] and she always complained about it but her mum wouldn’t let her get it cut So one day at recess she put an entire pack of chewed gum in her hair at the exact length she wanted it cut to. She came in the next day with her hair cut how she...
partyintheurl: whose line (of cocaine) is it anyway?
doodlesbytara: hey bud *wraps you up in a blanket* i know today might have been hard for you *ruffles your hair* but you made it through the day *boops your nose* you’re doing such a good job *kisses your forehead* and i am so proud of you
fefeferi: when u accidentally hurt ur friends feelings and they insist that its fine but u know it isnt
plantkitten: cute messages make me instinctively hide my face in my hands
romulusthread: stop doing that and do me instead
theweepyfox: geometricdeathtrap: So I needed a way to alert the class that I was going to be showing graphic pictures of genitals on my presentation so I decided that putting this on the slide before would work I want this on a shirt.
indigosignora: iceepr1ncess: literally nothing feels better than being loved by someone who hates everyone #it’s a good feeling #also when a cat that doesn’t like anyone likes you is great
mermaidsandmisandry: things i dont need in my life: wasps those stringy things on the banana commercials on youtube
rubych4n: ‘dad’ a young boy goes to his father, ‘I’m depressed because I have a personality crisis where I act angrily towards my crush but secretly I harbour feelings for them that I don’t admit.’ the father sighs pitifully and pats his son’s arm ‘dere dere, tsun’
canadumb: thinsiqnificant: canadumb: *ducts tapes my laptop together* *duct tapes my life together* isnt that what i said
yourdarlinglittlesammy: (〜￣▽￣)〜 hey guys 〜(￣▽￣〜) guess what ヘ(￣ω￣ヘ) the whole point of blogging ┏(＾0＾)┛ is to be able to express yourself and talk about whatever is on your mind and whatever you want (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ so as long as people aren’t tagging their distaste in things (✿◠‿◠) there is no reason to attack them for expressing their opinions on their own blogs that you are not being forced to...
ifyoucarryonthisway: i need a job where i work one hour a week and i get paid a thousand dollars a minute
Society as a kid: Be whatever you want! Follow your dreams! Nothing is impossible! The sky is the limit! Society as you get older: That’s not realistic. You’ll never make money that way. Not in this economy. Good luck being homeless.
thatlonelybarricade: videohall: Bird reacts to dubstep #best four seconds of my life tbh
playbunny: growing attached to people but not wanting to be that clingy friend
breakburnandends: my legs feel so smooth wo- oh my god i missed an entire spot: a memoir